Exhausted

Dan and I are both so tired. Feels like we've been here for a very long time, but so far it has just been 9 days compared to 12 with Ethan. Don't know yet which one of our boys will be able to "boast" the longer NICU stay. After Ethan's NICU stay I said that I couldn't do this again, and now that we are here again, I can say that we really, truly can never do this again. Too scary, stressful, and draining. In the NICU Ryan is on an every 3 hour feeding schedule. Since I'm trying to nurse him, I try to feed him first (which takes at least a half hour because he is so groggy), then he receives a supplement through his nasal-gastric tube while I pump, then I have to wash and reassemble the pump parts, and seems like there is not much downtime to eat, go to the restroom, sleep, etc. before we start the cycle over again. Not to mention Dan and I didn't get much sleep the first couple nights in the postpartum room because we were so worried about Ryan's status. I can't tell you how thrilled I will be when Ryan is discharged, but at this point he is not doing very well with nursing. During one feeding time tonight I tried working with him for 40 minutes unsuccessfully. He just would not latch on. Please pray that he catches on soon and stays awake long enough that he can be weaned off the supplement and still be able to gain weight. I'm getting pretty discouraged. According to his weight this evening, he's gained 2 ounces since yesterday, but that is probably primarily because he is receiving such a large supplement at each feeding. A lactation consultant who comes highly recommended is scheduled to work tomorrow, so she is supposed to stop by to help.

Ryan got one item checked off his "going home" list this morning. His nurse administered the newborn hearing screen, and thankfully he passed! Gentamicin exposure has the potential to cause hearing loss (both Ethan and Ryan received doses of this antibiotic in the NICU), so it is a relief that both passed their hearing screens.

Mom brought Ethan back to our house today, and Dan is going to take care of him there instead of staying at the hospital. We thought it would be best for him to be back at our house and readjusted to being there before we bring Ryan home. I was able to go home for a short time this morning to see Ethan and shower. It was so great to see him. He kept saying "Mommy went to the doctor" and he noticed my hospital bracelet right away. Hopefully he'll get to actually meet his little brother soon!

Sorry for the delay in blog posts, since Dan worked from home on Friday and has been sleeping there, I have had less access to his work laptop than before. Tomorrow Dan will bring me a different laptop that I'll be able to keep at the hospital, so I should be able to post more timely updates.